Devonshire Arms FC Squad Profiles

'Stella' Steve Howe
Position: Goalkeeper


Known for his pre-match 6 cans of Stella, Steve is also known for his vocal talents. Often surpassing himself in the amount of swear words he can get into a sentence, Stella Steve can be found apologising to the referee for bad language on a Sunday morning as well as producing legendary shot-stopping saves. He is often the voice of motivation at half-time and is the driving inspiration behind the team.


Jonny 'English' Scotland
Position: Right Back


A recent new member of the Devy, Jonny has settled in and is fast becoming a steady and first choice right back. His calmness and efficiency whilst defending has seen his performances grow and his right-hand side partnership with Little J flourish.


Andy 'Nobber' Norbury
Position: Center Back


Andy has now been a regular in the center of defence for a few seasons now. Known for his politeness towards referees, starting every sentece with 'sir' (he is also a known egg chaser), Nobber has been a welcome addition, leading by example. As he reaches his twilight years and his pace fades, he is well known for the odd 'unforced error'. Despite this Andy is a comanding rock at the back and even thinks he can wander upfront towards the end of games in search of glory before his football career, like his hair, comes to an end.


Jeff 'The Gloves' Udoh
Position: Goalkeeper/Striker


Since joining the club Jeff has been an active member of the Devy. Club secretary last season, as well as bringing in new faces, Jeff has also had to step in as reserve keeper when Stella Steve has been injured. He is known for his constant running and deceptive pace as well as turning up in goal using his large dustman gloves. Despite the gloves, and although he is a dustman by trade, his goalkeeping is anything but rubbish.


David 'Pony' Brooks
Position: Left Midfield/Left Back


David Arthur Stanley Brooks, also known as 'The Pony' due to his unique running style, is an all-action utility player. Enthusiasm is never lacking in this live wire although sometimes this is his downfall with wild shots and ridiculously slow step-overs. Greeted in the dressing room with 'have you swam here?', David has in recent seasons improved his goal scoring record if not his haircut.


Terry 'no-goals' Hall
Position: Center Back/Center Midfield


A founding member of the Devy, El Tel was a prolific goal scorer in his time and was top goal scorer for the Devy in the first two seasons. Now sometimes known as Mr. Invisible, as he tends to go missing in games, age and smoking soon sent this one time goal hero further back, first into midfield and now into defence. Now using his knowledge and experience of the game, Tel is a Devonshire Arms regular but has now failed to score in 189 games*.


Arthur 'Rolo McFlurry' McMurray
Position: Left Back

'The Hammer' as he is affectionately known, is a no nonsense pint-sized full back. His vicious left foot is regularly wound back and let loose during games, unfortunately no one knows where the ball will end up. A tough defender to play against you'll be hard pushed to get round him, not least because he is a little on the round side.


Dan Fisk
Position: Striker


Dan is another fairly recent addition and we be looking to cement a place in the first team this coming season. Limited to mainly substitute appearances thus far Dan has scored one of the best goals i've seen but he, like everybody else, could not explain it. Dan has a thunderbolt of a shot, that like a wild tiger at a circus, needs to be tamed for it to be effective.


Trevor 'Endeavour' Marsh
Position: Midfield/Full back


Tevor, like Dan has been limited to substitue appearances but is gradually finding his feet the more games he plays. Known for his never say die attitude, one thing you always get with Trevor is endeavour and 100% effort. A utility player who's commitment to the team has not gone unoticed, he will surely be looking for more starts this season.


Isaac 'Hamstring' Okyere
Position: Striker/Winger


Isaac has been with the Devy from the start and this once pacey and tricky winger still has his uses. Recently moved into the 'holding role' Isaac is a strong tackler but is prone to the odd hamstring pull, averaging 6 hamstring pulls a game. Frustration can lead this Congonesan to lose his rag but on his day he can be different class and at 54** he surely has one more season in him.


Richie 'Marathon Man' Fenn (Captain)
Position: Center Midfield


Captain Fantastic sums up our Richie. 'Marathon Man' will run all day in the center of midfield and his combative style inspires and leads the team through many a game. Richie wears his heart on his sleeve and also wears the same number shirt as his little girls age. Thank god he's getting on a bit because our shirts only go up to 17!


Jason 'Little J' Williams
Position: Right Midfield


The diminutive Jason Little J has been with the Devonshire Arms since they first founded, scoring a hatrick on his debut. He has since played every position (apart from goalkeeper for obvious reasons) and although he threw a strop last season and quit for a short period, has been a regular every year with a steady goal scoring record.


Shaun 'Smurf' Murphy
Position: Striker


Smurf, a recent acquisition who, no sooner has his goal scoring magic re-ignited the devy, will soon be leaving for the bright lights and sex shops of London Town. Known for his quick wit and disgusting humour, Smurf is a predator in the box and even more of a predator when it comes to de-kegging. One tip is to always do your short strings up and never celebrate a goal with your arms in the air, as you leave yourself wide open!


Nick 'no-nickname' Hurd
Position: Left Back/Left Midfield


Nick for some reason has no nickname, which is strange because he's a big character. Known for his rugged (some say scruffy) look, Nick usually turns up a little worse for wear. His gradual development though has seen him become one of the most improved players for the Devy. A ball-winner in midfield Nick is very much a hassler, giving other players no time on the ball and scurrying from player to player until he regains possesion. Nickname or no nickname, Nick is always there in the nick of time.


Steven 'Tripod' Hall
Position: Centre Midfield/Striker


The younger brother of Terry Hall, it's easy to see who got all the footballing talent in this family. Back from the States after coaching 'soccer' for 9 months, Stevie's come back with a few tricks and an all round understanding of the beautiful game. Stevie and Smurf pose a deadly partnership in the dressing room and you'd be wise not to engage in any banta with them (Brooksy take note). He also likes the odd scuffle in the middle of the park but as he would tell you, it's all friendly banta.


Simon 'Shrek' Testro
Position: Defender


Aptly named because, as you can see by his photo, he looks like the lovable ogre, Shrek. Ogre he might be on the pitch, but off it he is a big girls blouse (Brooksy told me to say that). A no-nonsense defender who's ultimate aim is to 'get rid of it'. Shrek lacks what some would call, skill, but where he lacks in skill, he makes up in phsical stature and punting ability. Has a gob on him as well!


Andrew 'Chopper' Willsher
Position: Right Back/Right Midfield

Chopper is another long standing member, joining half way through our 1st season. J Foster and him used to play together up front for their previous team, so he was nervous and suprised when Bones told him he'd be playing his debut for the Devvie at centre back. He soon overcame these nerves however, as he broke a young opponent's ankle in this his 1st game (thus earning him the nickname 'Chopper') and subsequently apparently prefered a more defensive role (although his lack of tracking back would belie this fact). A photographer by trade, he is anything but flashy but when he is focused and zooms in on his target, his shots are extremly accurate and very powerful. Somewhat of a set-piece expert, Chopper can get caught out on the odd mazy run, which can leave the rest of the team 'over-exposed'.


Mike 'The Teacher' Davis
Position: Centre Back

Mike is a thinker rather than a talker and somewhat of a gentle giant. He will be the first to admit that now passing the heights of his peak, the downward slope is seeing a mixed bag of performance. Although his legs are starting to go, Mike will always give a 110% and he still has his uses whether it be at the heart of defence or elsewhere on the football pitch. A techer by trade, his wise head is top of the class.


Tom 'New Boy'
Position: Unknown


A recent signing, Tom's chances so far this season have come from the bench. It may take a while for this youngster to settle down and get used to the fast pace of Sunday League football and force his way into the starting eleven. Only time will tell.


Jonathan 'Gazelle' Gibson
Position: Striker

The 'Gazelle' has signed on a 'pay & play' basis this season as his return to fitness continues. Jono has played a handful of games for the Devy before when we have been short in numbers. The Big Gay Bear's turning has in the past been likened to the QE2 but his presence up front is never questioned, unless you want an uncomfortable hug.


Jason 'What the fuck is he doing on the pitch' Foster (Manager)
Position: Unknown


Player/Manager for the Devy the last few seasons, Jason has helped keep the club afloat. He will be first to admit that his pace, talent and skill on the football field is lacking somewhat but his off-the-pitch organisation and behind the scenes work has been second to none and very much appreciated. Its always a joy to see the odd cameo appearance from J, not least because the shirts are somewhat of a slim-fit on him!


*may be slight exaggeration***
** may actually be older than that!
***well.. is an exaggeration

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